My clients push me everyday
To examine
What’s under my feelings of
Protectiveness
Pettiness
Powerlessness
I wish they knew how much I grew
Being in their company
Listening to their stories
Sobbing silently for the pain they carry
And the pain I hold
My own
And theirs
And it seems the Universe
I tell myself I’m doing God’s work
Mending hearts
Healing community
So why do I feel so alone?
I tell myself I’m doing God’s work
Muraqbah, self-reflection, discernment
So why doesn’t it feel good?
I tell myself I’m doing God’s work
Using my sharp skills as a sister and solider of Islam
So why does it feel like people aren’t listening?
Ramadan is around the corner
Isolation is a familiar feeling now
I plan to take every opportunity to return
To my Beloved
—
(Wo)Man created from a clot of blood
(Wo)Men wrapped up in fear after revelation
(Wo)Men who feel heat in their bellies and hearts for their worldly gossip
Woe to the women who’ve wounded me
And the women I’ve wounded
May God forgive us in these coming weeks.
