That’s the thing about dating a therapist
There isn’t anywhere to hide
We want to shine a light on all your cracks and corners the crevices and cognitive contraptions you’ve created to keep yourself from yourself
We want to pour of our love into those creaks behind your ears and those knees
The parts of you that you fear
We hold the hearts that haven’t felt held in years
Maybe at the expense of our own hurt
Maybe because we want someone to tend to our little old knees
Maybe because we also know fear
We face and sit along side
We don’t want you to be alone either
Or maybe it’s because
we have an excess : a gift
a sparkle and sense of justice
a channeled light
love that flows abundantly
That’s the thing about dating a researcher :
We will investigate, ask questions
Probe and prod and our pride won’t tell us when to stop
Our curiosities feel endless
Testing hypotheses, reading about relationships, coaching and teaching you about manipulation
When you’ve engage and how you’ve been impacted
It’s not your fault but now it’s your responsibility
To take accountability
That’s the thing about dating a community worker
The stories come home with her
She wants to be held
Affirmed the world is a hard place
Your arms are a safe haven
From the haters — the gossip — the assumptions- the biases -
the harm the hurt the ego the defensiveness the denial
The racial misogyny that will inevitably play out between the two of you
That’s the thing about dating…
And maybe marriage, and maybe children and maybe all these milestones
You just never really know when you are ready
You will likely fall and falter
And then fall and falter again.
You will risk yourself and recover
your heart sinks
you’ve been punched in the gut
you’re nauseous
are you lovesick?
or sulking around the reality of your obsession?
Then
One day
An ordinary day
You start all over
Stronger
More steady
Grounded in self-knowledge
Hopeful even
As if you’ve forgotten how awful the breakup hangover was
And then one day
Again
Someone asks
What do you do?
Do you enjoy your work?
And you decide
To risk it all again
To feel d i v i n e l y connected
And divinely b r o k e n
